Give them space? Give them time to cool down? Other people do the same thing. We need to have healthy ways to feel our negative emotions without lashing out with them destructively.
It may be better to develop coping skills, see a counselor, or even just go out for some exercise to burn off those emotions.
Journaling can be helpful to process those feelings too. If you need some time to yourself, express that need and take the time that you need.
Do you have people that you have just grown distant from? Reach out and suggest setting up a time to reconnect. This is an easy way to give you both a structured way to keep in touch, stay connected, and nurture those feelings of caring. Not every relationship is going to last forever. People regularly go through friendships and relationships as they live their life and get older.
You may find that you need to make an additional effort to develop new relationships as time goes on. A great way to do that is through hobbies, volunteering, taking classes, or community involvement. Churches used to be the primary way for communities to gather and interact. Nowadays, there may be other options available, like community organizations or charities. You may also find local meet and greets if the area you live in is large enough.
A support group may be another option if you are dealing with mental health issues. Emotionally healthy people with healthy boundaries do not spend their time around negative or destructive people. Do you want to know who does? I will pray for you and send you good vibes. God bless. Have you ever considered moving to another country or city? Some people do not fit in at all where they were born and raised.
Some people do amazingly well, and some just quite well. Get out there and see the world. You can start small. Travel to various places and see how it goes. Make friends with strangers. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Take up new hobbies. Paul, when I read your comment it reminded me so much about my own life.
I remember sitting at my high school graduation party feeling that I was completely invisible. Even members of my family have taken turns using me. I am a 60 year old woman and have never been loved or cared about by another person in this world.
It makes me incredibly sad. I have tried just about everything to make friends or meet that special man, but nothing works. Every failed encounter just makes me more depressed so I think it best to stop trying. The older you are the harder it gets. I truly feel your pain. So many people go about their day without even noticing people like us. Would it be so very hard for them to stop and take a moment to see us and show some kindness and inclusion.
After living on this earth for 60 years without any form of love I doubt that there is a miracle out there for me. But I hope and pray for you. You are seen by me, you are not invisible, I understand. Hi Cathy, I am 58 year old woman who was married 30 years and now find myself divorced and alone I also I feel that I manage to acquire friends and family through my own persistence. I can relate to people coming around only if they want something from me. It makes me very sad. I cry a lot. I feel like the older I get the more despair I feel at the prospect of a lonely life with no visitors.
I hope things will change for us all who feel I guess the word is disconnected. That was a very nice post that you wrote. I hope you find many friends you sound like a very kind hearted soul. God bless you. After a year they had a little girl and we drove 50 miles each way to baby set [ rain or snow ] as she got bigger they told us we were not needed they stared leaving her alone , we would get a call saying their light or gas , ect.
Currently going through these kinds of feelings. I hope days do get better. Your point one in this article hit home to me. Thank you for the article! I really needed to read this article in such a desperate way. Moving from the east coast to Colorado four years ago to help my two daughters and to be closer to my grandchildren appears to have backfired. One daughter who lives 90 minutes away includes me in her life. Calls me daily.
Shares her joys and seeks my input. The older daughter lives literally around the corner. I feel she has the expectations that I am here just for her. I want to move back East but it will crush my other daughter. I feel used, discarded and unappreciated by the older daughter. Had surgery 10 days ago, she nor her children have even asked if I need anything nor have they visited. My head tells me she loves me in her own way but my heart is not reconciled to my head.
I sympathize with you just having had surgery. I too had surgery although minor about 8 days ago. I would love to have my Mon be there for me like you have made the effort to be there for your daughters. Know that someone out here hears you and loves you! I feel the same way about my eldest child. She was always oppositional and has even verbalized that she wished I was like the other moms. I had a heart attack and the first thing she did was get my mother to go outside with her to smoke and get money from her.
Then she left 5 minutes later. My mother still gives her money all the time. My mother is an alcoholic and has been suicidal since I can remember.
She is 78 now. Then when she drinks she calls me a bitch and acts very hateful towards me. My daughter just outright ignores my texts and phone calls except when she needs money or she has a problem. My mother also interfered with my parenting my daughters whole life. In some kind of way I want them both to hurt because of how they treat me. The pain goes deep. I think you should move closer to your younger daughter. I wish I could just let it go and move on.
They just choose to not give a crap. I hope we both can just let them go. Your situation seems more like mental illness versus your daughter and your mother not caring.
Check out groups like co-dependents anonymous or adult children of alcoholics. Best wishes that you find peace. Laurie, this article is so good, helpful, and loving. It totally helped me. My desperate feelings have subsided. To those who still feel desperate, please re-read and feel the words in this article.
Make little changes. Know that sometimes the people in our lives might be toxic and contributing to our bad and confusing feelings toward ourself. Sometimes we must remove them from our life. I removed my mom three years ago. My childhood was painful. I moved hours away when I was able and after my dad died she became unbearable. I kept giving her chances and being patient. Then I realized she never took responsibility for her behavior.
I can relate to this Carol. In therapy recently, I realised just how painful my childhood was and how much I was deprived of love growing up. I lost my mom at 11, no one helped us with the trauma and then my dad abandoned us. Whats worse is that he blamed us for everything he did. I always wondered why I struggled to keep relationships, and felt rejected by others.
Because nothing was ever enough, I was so lonely inside. I am still trying to forgive my dad but its hard because he has never taken responsibility for his actions. I so can resonate with what your saying. Your in a home with people and or family; but, still feel so deeply alone, and even though your household knows how you feel, YOUR still not heard or felt.
You become drained, etc. Sometimes just getting on a forum or post such as this, and letting out your pain or problem, relieves you somewhat. Thank you for sharing. Take care, be well and safe. Before I learned how to question my thoughts, I used to turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. The writer — possibly King Solomon — shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom.
He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments. Plus, when you consider that King Solomon had everything most people desire, every material thing that could make him happy, and he still felt sad.
Nothing can fill that void except God. And even when God fills us up, we still experience the gamut of human emotion, which includes the lows as well as the highs. Your encouraging words are honest and will be helpful for anyone who wants to follow the truth. God Bless! I have been experiencing such loneliness. I have had a tough childhood with abandonment, alcoholism, abuse, etc. And even to this day, when I contact my mother, whom is still alive, it is very one sided conversation about what is going on in her world.
My brother passed this life in May in his sleep due to natural causes, and no one found him until 2 days later from one of his friends! It sounds so lonely. Our family is so dysfunctional it is sad. I woke up sad and lonely. Made me think even more. But my eyes are open to how unimportant I am to my family that I need to deal with this with the Lord. Thank you again for sharing your personal testimony. I have dementia, which is a brain wasting disease for which there is NO cure, and very little palliative care.
I have made friends and family aware of this, yet no one seems to care. My father died of this illness and I watched him die and it was horrific. Please dont think that way. Try to do one thing every day that makes you happy and focus on that. Oftentimes I feel very sad. I grew up with my grandparents because my mother didnt want me. My mother had other children whom the two sisters are very close. At about 30…35 yrs ago…i reunited with my mother and stepsisters…but of course..
I always feel like an outcast. Only when i got sick with cancer did i feel really cared about. They were great and supportive. Now that im better.. I get severely depressed…sometimes and often just want to be alone.. I dont want to go to family events because i feel out of place…but i force myself.
So…while i am not in your situation…i understand some of your feelings. Please try.. Im routing for you. Hatefulness has no place here or anywhere…but God is everywhere filling all things…WOW! Anna, I may never be able to meet you, but I do care. My four children were ages 6 to 14 when their mother left all of us.
It does not mean she did not care, I presume just a mental problem no one found a solution for. It was about 30 years before my daughter found her mother again. I researched this subject the opposite of what you have. Yes, I do recognize most people cared nothing about my time in jail and big debt for something I never did in my life, but far worse is the young women who continues to express her love for me was forced against her will to sign a lying statement that put me in jail.
This abused woman I continue trying to help, so I call the staff in a college where she studies. I spoke with several there during two weeks including some government agents described to stop abuse.
Nothing worked! No one seems to care at all because what I am absolutely certain from what the women told me during the last three years. When she can get around what is trying to block her communication with me, it is always her love and appreciation wanting to return, but neither of us have the power and money to succeed. What I pray most for is these evil abusers against her or never want to prevent it. They are in worse condition against God that we have ever been!
I know that no one cares about me. It could be possible that your mother is going through something herself that she has yet to get the help for. When we feel bad feelings we can very easily take it out on others without even being aware of it. Especially since she grew up that way. One day you will be old enough to move out and move on if you have to.
It happened to me. Surround yourself with good friends and activities that make you so happy. I wish you nothing but very best. If it brings you any solice, I survived and You will too. Only think ahead. You will grow up one day and as an adult no-one can harm you, because you will be old enough to protect yourself.
This I promise. Sounds like you need medical assistance too; can government healthcare provide a home health aide for you? I was sick for nearly a decade. Before that, I was a writer and minister who made a very good living as an administrative assistant. Suddenly I became sick without Fibromyalgia, and a dozen or so attendant illnesses. I have lingering health issues because I live with family that never believed how sick I was and eats anything I put in the fridge, left me in a vacant house once.
I am better now and can work, but not making enough to live on my own. I feel like I wasted my life. I feel like no one cares about me, no one values me. Angus, You matter! Your life matters! This life is just a preparation for the next…It takes constant prayer to overcome the heartache of this world…But there is something in the suffering that is vital.. Who can understand it? So that.. I once met a woman who was single at 55, never married, very educated.
I asked her why she never married.. I thought it was the most honest answer I had ever heard.. I will be praying for you…Katherine. God Bless I truly understand.. I really needed to read your encouraging words. I feel so alone and useless and grief has overwhelmed me. I am severely lonely.
I was sexually molested around 8 years old by my now, longtime-ex brother in law, married at 20, mentally and physically abused, and divorced, without children, by 24 and vowed never to marry again.
I remained single and sexless for the next 22 years and became a raging WORKaholic. I did remarry at 46 years old and have been married 10 years. We started off happily but our marriage has deteriorated to nothingness. He also has his skeletons from the past and is depressed. I have feel completely invisible. He claimed to be in a dead marriage too and wanted us to be friends with benefits.
Like an idiot, I agreed. The attention he paid me was through the roof and I told him that I could fall in love with him. From that moment forward our relationship was harmed. We still talked, met and made dates to hook up for sex, which HE backed out of every single time. Well, he did. That was the last time I heard from him.
He has completely ghosted me and will not answer any of my texts or phone calls. I confessed to my husband and he said that he was expecting that to happen and that he deserved it. I have been so distraught that I have seriously considered taking my own life. I recently quit my career as a nurse, something I was pushed into doing and something that made me completely miserable. I cannot be a part of it any longer.
I watched my mom and grandma die a few years ago. I was married to an abusive alcoholic who almost killed me. I come from a long line of co-dependent, passive-aggressive stuffers, so there is truly no one in my family that I can talk to. My head is and has been in a bad place.
I have no joy. I fake happiness, when I have the energy. I just feel like a big, black void. And I write here, because God woke me up this morning. For better or worse. You obviously had much pain and abuse in your life. I think just having someone to truly listen about your life and validate your feelings is a must. I too am a nurse, so can understand a bit more.
If you ever want to reach out, feel free. I haven to say that this is such a superficial understanding of feeling alone. That is not being alone. YOu say you are mostly and optimist and sometime feel kinda this way…. Nonsense garbage article. Leave this stuff out of the internet if you really want to help people.
Regarding your kid, Kshill Gilbran says our children are not our own. We just give them an opportunity at life. It is so hard to let them make their own choices. I told my daughters that their emotional distance disrespects the commitment I made to them when I was a single mom. As for finding a partner at age 60, my family dr recommend E-Harmony. Given a wall of faces, I pick the serial killers every time. You can decide if those are deal breakers or not. Also, besides great screening, the answers are to the questions it would take months of dating getting dressed, makeup, discomfort to learn.
Anyone who is deceptive is kicked out. I figured. Believe me, I was ready to cash it all in. For this state, that was miraculous!!! As all of the personal info and beliefs had already been addressed via the questions and our emails before our first date.
My husband told me on our first date, was that it was my frank honesty that made him fall in love with me. Had we met anywhere else we never would have spoken to each other. Good men have been screwed over and fearful of that pain occurring again.
Forget the Bad Boys. I too am alone. So, no one but a couple of girlfriends scattered all over the states. Your issues are far more common than you realize.
There are MANY women that are living our lives, which does t seem true when you look around yourself; but it is. I can completely understand. I feel like I have no purpose in life. I was a daughter, but both parents are gone. I hate being alone. I hate living alone, and I hate making all the decisions because I always make the wrong one.
It is lonely. I commiserate with you. I do not have children but I know families with five solid adult children and not one even speaks to the other because of conflicts.
Then there are the families with yelling and violence. Better to be alone! I would miss most the phone call with mother of what I ate for dinner that night. Think about how you respond when someone offers you support.
Do you argue with them, as though you're trying to prove how worthless you are? This can make you feel worse, and make other people less willing to help. Pay attention to your responses to these situations.
Learn to stop and say "thank you" instead. Reach out to old friends and acquaintances. If your close friends and family aren't there for you, think back to people who were kind in the past. Find the contact information for old friends. Share your feelings with a family friend, a teacher, or acquaintance who's good at listening. Talking in person or over the phone tends to work better than talking through text or online chat.
Understand "uncaring" responses. When you're severely depressed, it's easy to assume that everyone is mean, unkind and uncaring. Most often, people are just more focused on their own lives. This does not mean that they do not care about you. Responses like "It will get better" or "Just ignore it" may sound dismissive, but the person saying it often thinks they're giving real help. These people may be able to cheer you up in other ways, but be careful talking to them when you're at a low point.
Find new hobbies and friend groups. If you have few friends or close family members, one argument can temporarily destroy your whole support network. Pick up new activities to meet more people, and give you another source of self-worth.
Try volunteering. Helping others can be a great way to feel good about yourself. Join a club, a religious organization, or class at a local community college. Practice talking to strangers to get to know them better. Find support online.
For times when you have no one to talk to, find a supportive stranger to speak with anonymously. Try Blah Therapy or 7 cups. During a mental health crisis, contact a suicide hotline. These are available through online chat and phones worldwide.
Look for your country at Befrienders. Keep a collection of happy memories. When you're depressed, it's hard to notice the positive events in your life.
Hugs or supportive conversations may not even feel real to you, or you might forget them a few hours later. Keep these in a journal or box of papers.
Add to this whenever someone sends you a happy message or does something nice for you. Read these over the next time you feel like no one cares about you. Expose yourself to happy sources of entertainment. Watching sad movies and television shows are likely to have a negative effect on you. Try to avoid sources of entertainment that are negative or sad, such as the news, sad movies, and depressing TV shows.
Instead, watch comedy movies, stand-up comics, and other things that make you laugh. Spend time with animals. Pets can be great allies during hard times, especially dogs. If you don't have a pet yourself, ask a friend or neighbor whether you can walk his dog or visit his cat. Part 2. Understand your depression. If you often feel hopeless or worthless, you are probably depressed. This is a serious medical condition that needs treatment. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you can find support and improve your well-being.
Click here to learn more signs of depression. Join a depression support group. Many of us are afraid to reach out to our loved ones for help. Yet only by facing your fears will you ever stop feeling lonely.
Plus, volunteering will provide you with a community of like-minded people who can become close friends. By entering your information on the Tony Robbins website, you agree that we may collect and use your personal information for marketing, and for other purposes, as set forth in our Privacy Policy, which we encourage you to review. What can we help you find? Generic filters Hidden label. Hidden label. Sign Up Now. Read More. Get Tony Robbins' articles, podcasts and videos in your inbox, biweekly.
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